Most Wanted Fugitives

I found a way to make so much money i could literally swim in it. Are you ready for this? OK, here it is. All i have to do......is find.....Usama Bin Laden!!! The reward is $25 million, so yes, literally, i could swim in that.

OK, so I'm not serious. I could never find the guy. The government with all of their secret agents, spies, Jason Bournes, and Heat Seeking Missiles can't find them. Plus, he isn't even in America, and seeing as how I've never been out of the country, finding him could be quite difficult.

Anyway, i know you are wondering what spurned this terrorist talk. Well I'm a sucker for random facts and news that no one really cares about. Yahoo! has the perfect home page for someone like me, so full of news on a wide variety of topics. But tonight my home page just wasn't sparking my interest enough. Therefore i had to find my own news. I started searching Top Ten topics like video games, restaurants, and movies. My mind was entertained for a little bit, but nay, i was not satisfied. Then i had an epiphany. I knew exactly what would saturate my need for randomness.

I went back to my Cops days and searched for another Top Ten. You see, there's this governmet agency that keeps a Top Ten. They call themselves the FBI and their Top Ten list is full of wanted indivuals. Why would this interest me? Well think about it. How many of us know any of the people who are the nations most wanted criminals?? Yes,of course Bin Laden is on there and yes, the $25 million is a real reward for him, but other than that i don't know anyone else on the list. Wouldn't it be helpful if i knew some about these people in case i see them!? I think so. Take a look.

http://www.fbi.gov/wanted/topten/fugitives/fugitives.htm

Now seriously, i read all ten profiles, their personal information, why they are wanted, the reward. After reading them i understand why some of these guys were on the list for the MOST WANTED. I'm not saying that anything they did was right or justified, but some of them don't seem to warrant a most wanted status. One guy stole lots of money. Another assaulted a police officer. There is even a guy who is probably going to die soon, he's so old, yet he has most wanted status.

Well according to the FBI, the only criteria for getting this status, is you have to be seen as a threat to society. That's it. In that case, i have my picks for the Top Ten Most Wanted.

1. Peanut Butter. It's getting everybody sick all of a sudden. Sickness=Bad=Threat=Most Wanted Status
2. Rip Tides. These things kill yet no one says boo hoo about them.
3. Fictional TV Women. In almost any show that has a deranged bad guy that kills, it usually turns out that he became that way because a woman in his life shunned him in some way. Stop the women, stop the killing.
4. Global Warming. All this crazy weather that people say can lead to another ice age! Sounds like a credible threat to me.
5. World of Warcraft. People who play this game are neglecting proper hygiene practices, some don't eat, some could die. Threat.
6. Snakes. This is my #1 fear in the world! These things are demons. One was just discovered that was so big it could eat crocodiles for lunch. Catch these threats FBI!
7. Cracks. "Step on a crack, break your mom's back" This should have been stopped by now. Shame.
8. Dumb People. Doesn't everyone hate these people anyway? Please take them away FBI.
9. Doctors. They don't know what they are doing.
10. Usama Bin Laden. DUH!

Ok, in case you didn't know already, my list is a joke. Well, except for #3 and #6. Still, i think you all should read up on our Most Wanted criminals. 94% of the people put on the list since 1950 have been caught, all due to people like you and I who saw them on the list and helped out. Happy Hunting. =)